finally its becoming real

i won't lie, i do suffer from an eating disorder. the obsession of wanting to be thin, skinny and boney is slowly taking over me mentally!

i've gone to a counseling but i don't find its helping. i can't help be whenever i eat to go and throw up. i did it today, i relapsed. i didn't do it for 2 days, and it was just too suffering. even worse is when i don't even have my weighting scales now. i need them, i feel insecure ):

but admitting it, does it mean i'm seeking for more attention? fuck, i need to stop thinking. i feel like my housemates aren't as close to me than they use to be, i feel like they judge me because of my problem. now i'm confused. i really just wish i could talk to somebody who understands what i'm going through and be able to cry about it comfortabley. maybe i need to get back to work again. maybe i need to keep myself busy and actually quit drinking. but why am i depress? i'm not! i can't be, i'm suppose to be the HAPPY GIRL! the one that makes ppl happy, the one that makes ppl laugh, or shall i say have a good laugh at. really, what's wrong with me? x

my party life so far...

alrighty (: i haven't really been blogging much about my party life in uni right now that's because i had no time to actually sit down and type everything out. i've been to ocean and the su to start off. plus a few bars and pubs. wait for this, somehow ended in mansfield on one night.

i've just been the typical kate when drunk - crazy, wild as usual. nothing special right.

here's just some photos:

she said lifting me was like lifting nothing

nat: let's go and take photos with random guys!

Sophie Road Crew (:
Hanna, Claire, Nat and Me!

here's with Anna - Our Adopted Housemate

Trent Army Night!!

Trying to be Proper Gangster here!

x

lecture from friday

on friday afternoon i attend possibility the most interesting lecture i've ever attended in nottingham trent! haha, pretty fell asleep in every class with chris brown. don't worry this post will be quite short! won't be an entire "lecture note" lenght.

Michelangelo, a renaissance scupltor and art. he was often known as "The Divine" one during his lifetime. but what really caught was when he was painting/scuplting/whatever the Sistine Chapel, he did everything himself - literally everything adding on in a quick time. he was done in 18 months. but was amazed me was when he was on his final "check-up" on the Sistine Chapel work, he literally scraped away everything, and ruined all his hardwork. when asked by Pop Julius the Second, he simply said ,"it just wasn't good enough." therefore he redid the whole Sistine Chapel until it reached his satisfaction.

the point of that was as an artist, he was a man who suffered for his art (he had pernament eye damage and a weak back after the Sistine Chapel) a man with the "divine spirit" - simply a genius. he has something, and could see something and feel something that no one else could. he had the driving force that made him being beyond anything else.

i want to be that person, that person whose a "genius" who has a driving force that no one else could imagine. right now though life is a bit hard for me, but i'm adapting to it cause i know in the end of the day, everything single hardwork i put into it will be reward in the end of the day (: x

apologizes

i apologize to those who actually keep up with my blog.

i've just been very busy working for the past 2 weeks, plus now i'm back in uni it'll be even more hectic. but remember i'm super woman! haha, i can do anything (: x

this seems kinda accurate, and its facebook application or maybe its just because i'm incredible tired right now.

first "prediction" was: "kate sweet, you will feel strong and sure of yourself."
second "prediction" (after refreshing it) was: "... forgot." but its was something about success.

this might just the sorta quote it gives out to all people, or maybe its a sign.
AHHH I THINK TOO MUCH. x

FINGER WERE CROSSED AND I'VE GOT IT (:

PS. don't ask me what my jobs about because i really don't know how to explain it
PPS. i'm hoping to make a £1000 in 2 months

FINGERS CROSS FOR TOMORROW!
I REALLY NEED THIS